I try to be postive everyday, and keep the good vibes surrounding me… but this weekend has been a real downer. My phone will not cut back on, our car is messing up, and all i can think about is all the money that will be spent to fix/replace these things. I know they say nothing ruins your 20s like thinking you should have it all together… but its very disappointing to be in a place where money is an object, when all I’ve pictured my whole life, is being 21 (now 23) and being rich and jetsetting around the world, making movies, being happy and carefree yet thoughtful and living life with a purpose.
There was this contest on the website dreamjobbing.com to win the chance to be the Vh1 big morning buzz reporter, and all one had to do to enter was submit a 1 minute intro video and share a link to get people to vote. I told myself everyday for a week to do it, and everytime i picked up the camera i got scared, and moved on to the next task of the day. I didn’t give myself a chance. I held myself back and I have no one to blaim but myself. I think the fact the my goals constantly got but on the backburner has become a pattern. I make excused where there are non. I’m trying to be better, to matter, to make myself so big that i can make a difference on the whole world, so hard working that my dreams of travling and riches become reality, but I’m scared.
I don’t want to be scared anymore, and I’m tried of distractions coming into my life that make me feel okay to settle and play it safe.
So damit universe, I know part of your master plan is to build people though adversity, but I’m asking and telling you to please gimme a break. No more distractions please. I’m trying to use my time away from home to grow and be someone but I need this cripling fear of not having money to no longer be a thought.
I’ll finish this with my daily affirmations that i hope to fully believe one day ” I am thankful for the finical prosperiy in my life. I am a money magnet,and it flows to me. The universe showers me, because there is plenty for me to have.”